Happy couples aren’t unicorns. Not that unicorns couldn’t make a happy couple it’s just that well, they don’t exist. The way some people talk you’d think happily married couples aren’t real either. Yes, the divorce rate is awful and many couples who manage to stay married are miserable, but happy couples are real. It’s like the M&M’s commercial where an animated M&M bumps into Santa Claus and in surprise they both mutter “He does exist.” Happy couples do exist and they’re actually not that rare. Happy couples are everywhere, a bunch of them probably even live in your neighborhood. Perhaps you and your spouse have even cracked the code and consider yourselves happily married. Two types of couples exist. Those who are already happy and those who used to be happy and want a happy marriage again. You have what it takes to live happily ever after with your spouse, you just need to know the secrets of the happiest couples.
Marriage doesn’t have to be hard work.
Walking on the beach in Hawaii is fun. Sure it takes more work than lying on the couch but walking in the surf and watching the sunset is so awesome it hardly feels like work.
Fighting is not required.
Fighting is so normal in marriage some people think it’s a sign of a good relationship. The happiest couples negotiate their disagreements without fighting.
You won’t be happy all the time.
Even at Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, you get tired and grumpy. Emotions are important but temporary. The happiest couples know happiness is temporary but so is sadness, discouragement, and loneliness.
Good communication is a skill.
The happiest couples don’t give up when they miscommunicate. They keep getting back on the bicycle after every crash. They know the thrill of deep connection comes by developing communication skill over time.
Thanksgiving is not just a day in November.
The happiest couples are thankful for their spouse. This perspective of thankfulness protects against selfishness.
Circumstances don’t determine your happiness.
Life is not all rainbows and sunshine. But it doesn’t matter what storms come your way when your marriage is a safe place. Even rainy days can bring a smile when you’re close to your spouse.
Touch is touching.
Affectionate touching link hearts. The happiest couples are comfortable touching each other. Physical touch sparks their romantic connection.
Contentment and striving for better are two sides of the same coin.
The happiest couples are perfectly content with their relationship the way it is AND they constantly strive to improve their connection.
Technology is simply a tool.
Tools are only helpful if used skillfully. A hammer can either build or destroy a house. The happiest couples use technology to connect with each other and are careful not to let technology distract them from face to face interaction.
Intimacy has many forms.
Marital intimacy includes sex and much more. Emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy, physical intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and intellectual intimacy all support each other. The happiest couples invest heavily in all forms of intimacy.
What would you add? What is the secret to happiness in your marriage?