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Affirmation

5 Affirmations Every Mom Should Hear From Their Husband Every Day. (Especially on Mother’s Day)

Photo by Debbie Brown brownstudios.com
Photo by Debbie Brown brownstudios.com

Moms are the best.

They supply the world with generous unconditional love. Moms deserve to know the impact of their work because the pressure of mothering can be heavy at times. Mommy guilt is the feeling moms get when they feel inadequate in their efforts to fulfill all the expectations in life. In those moments they worry about their priorities and feel they should have done something different. Husbands, you can’t prevent all of these feelings but you can greatly reduce them by affirming her. Sharing positive comments about your wife’s mothering skills is a great way to instantly improve your marriage. Notice her efforts and remind her of your love and gratitude for who she is and what she does. Share these five affirmations with your wife everyday for a wonderful marriage.

  1. You are a good mom. Parenting has a way of leading to self-doubt. When the frustrations of caring for kids overwhelm, it’s easy to be discouraged. Your wife should hear from you “you are a good mom.” If she protests, gently persist with specific examples.

  2. We can do this together. Marriage is a partnership in all aspects and parenting works best when it’s a team sport. Embrace the shared goal of raising kids into functioning adults. When she knows you are truly in it together, the load of the task is not quite as heavy.

  3. Your work is valuable. To really love your wife, affirm her efforts and daily activities. Tell her the actions she takes are noticed and you are grateful for her work. If your wife cares for your kids full time make sure to notice and affirm the little miracles she performs every day. Mothers who work outside the home need to feel supported and appreciated for their work at the office and raising kids.

  4. I love you. Affirming your love for her is always important. Sure, we overuse the word love for everything. “I love bacon, I love power tools, I love Netflix.” But declaring your love in a relationship IS special. Remind her daily of your commitment to love her. Simply saying “I love you” communicates you notice her and are emotionally available and responsive.

  5. It’s ok to rest. Mothering is exhausting and never ending. It’s also probably a lot of work being married to you. Mothers frequently have the internal pressure to continue performing and striving. That’s good, it ensures the survival of humanity. But mothers also need to know physical and emotional rest is appropriate. Give your wife the go ahead to rest and then get busy providing her the opportunity to rest when needed.

Affirmations work best when you use both words and actions. Telling her is good, showing her is awesome, doing both is magic.



You may also like: 5 Affirmations Every WIFE Should Hear From Her Husband Every Day. Learn what to say first when you give a compliment and what to say first when you are arguing. Hint: The subtle difference will make all the difference.

The 5 Affirmations Every Wife Should Hear From Their Husband Every Day

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It may feel complicated and confusing trying to understand your wife and her emotional needs. Daily affirmations will give her the smile you’ve been looking for. Don’t worry, you have what it takes; affirmations are simply nice words you know to be true. Share these five affirmations with your wife everyday for a wonderful marriage.

  1. You are a blessing. Tell her out loud you are thankful for her. Gratitude is critical for great connection. This affirmation is especially great to say in the morning. When you declare her a blessing first thing, gratitude becomes the lens through which you see your relationship which prevents conflict.
  2. You are beautiful. Her outward physical beauty is important to affirm. Never stop complimenting your wife’s physical beauty. Some women with poor self image try to sabotage their husband’s affirmations, persist with your affirmation anyway. Inner beauty includes positive personality characteristics you find attractive. “I love the way you really care about people you interact with, you are beautiful.”
  3. You are loved. Sure, we overuse the word love for everything. “I love bacon, I love power tools, I love Netflix.” But declaring your love in a relationship IS special. You may even remember the first time you told her you loved her. Even if you think she should already know, tell her she is loved every day.
  4. You are desired. In their book Captivating John and Stasi Eldredge share how every woman has a deep craving to be desirable. Pursue your wife in a way which demonstrates she is desired and you will connect deeper than ever before.
  5. You are a great wife. Of all the relationships you have in your life, your marriage relationship is uniquely special. Affirm her success in your relationship. Tell her she is doing a great job of loving you.

Each affirmation intentionally begins with the word you. The focus should be her. When giving affirmations it is easy to start with yourself. “I’m blessed to be your husband” is nice but the point of saying what is true about her can get lost when you start with I.

Side note: When you are having a difficult conversation or an argument, start with I. When tensions are high starting with the word you will sound demeaning and blaming. For example “you always spend too much money.” In a heated discussion begin by explaining how you feel in the situation. For example “I feel overwhelmed at the thought of working more overtime when we overspend our budget.”

To add emphasis to your positive affirmations pair them with affection. Saying you love your wife sounds even better when you are physically close to her. Communication works best when you use both words and actions.

Telling them is good, showing them is awesome, doing both is magic. Don’t settle for talk only. Words with no action is lying. Saying you love her but not acting in loving ways destroys trust. You become a con-man spewing sweet words and never following through. Action with no words is confusing. Although it’s awesome to have a spouse who consistently acts in loving ways, marriage can become awkward in silence. Like living with a mime who gets all the actions right, a marriage without verbal affirmation quickly becomes confusing and lonely. The marital magic comes when you combine words and actions. When you tell your spouse she is beautiful and act in ways that make her feel beautiful, you will have a magically wonderful marriage.

What does your wife love to hear?
Photo Credit:/ 123RF Stock Photo

Improve Your Marriage with Woohoo! Power

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“Hey dad look! They have candy!” My eyes followed my 6 year old’s pointed finger and I saw it too. It was halftime of a local high school basketball game and there WAS candy on the basketball floor. To raise money for the basketball team they put candy around the court and for a donation, participants had one shot to make a basket from that place to win the candy.

From that moment on my son had the basketball for candy game on his mind and began serious negotiations to participate. Soon halftime was over, but his determination was not. Never underestimate the motivating power of candy for a kindergartner.

Then my wife had a brilliant plan. “we can have our own game at home.” So we made our own version of the basketball for candy game. We took the nerf basketball hoop and put it up the garage. We drew circles with chalk on the garage floor. Each circle was given it’s own value for a made shot from that distance. One circle was good for a skittle; one would win them a sucker and one was for gum.
I love giving candy to our boys but I didn’t want to owe them halloween buckets of candy after our shoot around in the garage. On the closest two circles I put “Woohoo!” and “High 5.” If they made a basket from the closest distances I would give him a high five or a loud Woohoo!
When the game started my son was motivated to get candy but he found it difficult to make a shot from three point land. He moved up and scored lots from the Woohoo! and high five areas. He eventually made some shots from farther away and gladly received his candy but he never grew tired of the Woohoos and high fives. His eyes lit up when he made it from the Woohoo! circle and came running no matter where I was in anticipation of my crazy, loud, over-the-top WOOHOO!

Kids love verbal affirmation even more than candy. Now that is powerful.

Woohoo! power works wonders in marriage too.

Say nice words to your spouse. The words you say matter deeply to the heart of your spouse and they speak to the condition of your marriage.

When you give your spouse a woohoo! affirmation you are saying to them:

  1. You are valued. You are delightful. You are amazing.
  2. Our relationship is valued. I like when we are close. Being married to you is wonderful.
  3. We can face it together. Whatever life brings we are on the same team and we are going to make it.

The more descriptive your verbal affirmation, the better. Look for their eyes to light up. If you are new to verbal affirmation, the look in their eye may be shock and disbelief at first. Keep going. If you feel kinda silly, that’s fine, you’re on the right track.

Using encouraging words will transform your marriage. I know it may sound overly simplistic or too good to be true but I’ve watched it happen. I have counseled couples near divorce who feel exhausted, angry, and hopeless in their marriage. When they were able to verbalize genuine verbal affirmations, their marriage beg an to heal. Their circumstances didn’t change but their relationship changed dramatically. Difficult circumstances and impossible decisions were not as heavy. They were able to live together and enjoy it again. They smiled more. Instead of attacking each other they ran to each other anticipating their own version of a crazy, loud, over-the-top woohoo! from each other.

When you are secure in your relationship, circumstances become a challenge not a crisis.

Affirm your spouse today, it’s as simple as a Woohoo! or a high five.

What does a crazy, loud, over-the-top woohoo! sound like in your marriage?

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